Learning to Recognise Your Achievements

When confidence is low, it can be surprisingly easy to overlook the things you are doing well.

You complete something difficult and immediately move on. You solve a problem but tell yourself it was nothing. You receive a compliment and explain why you didn’t really deserve it.

Meanwhile, mistakes and setbacks can feel much harder to forget.

Learning to recognise your achievements isn’t about pretending everything is going brilliantly. It is about giving your progress the same attention you may already give to things that go wrong.

Why do I dismiss things I’ve achieved?

You might find yourself thinking:

“Anyone could have done that.”

“It wasn’t a big deal.”

“I should have done it sooner.”

“I was just lucky.”

“It could have been better.”

Sometimes we set a very high threshold for what counts as an achievement.

A promotion might count, but getting through a difficult week doesn’t.

Completing a major project might count, but finally making a phone call you have avoided for days doesn’t.

Achievements do not have to be impressive to other people to matter to you.

Look beyond obvious achievements

Some achievements are easy to recognise: qualifications, promotions, awards, completing a major project or reaching an important personal goal.

Others are quieter.

Perhaps you:

• asked for help when you needed it
• attended an appointment you were nervous about
• returned to something after a difficult experience
• dealt with paperwork you had been avoiding
• spoke up for yourself
• managed a difficult conversation
• tried something new
• set a boundary
• supported somebody through a difficult time
• kept going during a challenging period

What feels ordinary now may have required considerable effort at the time.

Notice effort as well as outcomes

Not everything you attempt will work.

If achievement only means getting the result you wanted, you may overlook the value of trying.

Perhaps you applied for a job and didn’t get it.

The outcome may be disappointing, but you might still have updated your CV, completed an application, attended an interview and gained experience.

Those things still happened.

Recognising effort doesn’t mean pretending the outcome doesn’t matter. It means acknowledging the whole experience rather than judging it only by the final result.

Keep a simple record

When something goes wrong, you may remember it without making any effort.

Things that go well can disappear much more quickly.

Try keeping a short note of progress.

It could simply be:

Today I managed…

This week I dealt with…

Something I did even though I was nervous was…

Something I’m getting better at is…

You don’t need to write pages.

A few words can help create a more balanced record of how you are actually doing.

Accepting a compliment can be an achievement too

If somebody says something positive about you, notice whether you immediately dismiss it.

You don’t have to agree with every compliment you receive, but you also don’t have to argue against it.

Sometimes a simple:

“Thank you.”

is enough.

Other people may occasionally recognise strengths in you that you find difficult to see yourself.

Avoid moving the finish line

You achieve something and immediately decide it wasn’t enough.

You complete one task and focus on the five still waiting.

You reach a goal and instantly create a harder one.

There will nearly always be something else to do.

Try pausing before moving on.

Ask:

“What did it take for me to get here?”

Recognising progress doesn’t stop you developing further. It helps you see that development is already happening.

Compare yourself with where you started

Other people’s achievements can easily become the standard you use for your own.

But their circumstances, experiences and priorities may be completely different.

Sometimes a more useful question is:

“What can I manage now that I couldn’t manage before?”

The difference might be large.

It might also be one small step.

Both can represent progress.

When recognising anything positive feels difficult

Persistent low mood or very low confidence can make it difficult to recognise strengths or achievements, even when other people can see them.

If you find that you are constantly critical of yourself, unable to recognise anything positive or withdrawing from everyday life because of how you feel about yourself, additional support may be useful.

Talking things through can help you understand why your view of yourself has become so negative and explore ways of developing a more balanced one.

You don’t have to think you are brilliant at everything.

But you deserve to include what went right when you consider how you are doing.

5.1: Understanding Self-Confidence

5.3: Building Confidence One Step at a Time

5.4: Coping With Self-Doubt

5.5: Why Do I Compare Myself With Other People?

5.6: Managing Negative Thoughts About Yourself

5.8: Setting Achievable Goals

11.9: Setting Small Achievable Goals

General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.