Setting Achievable Goals

Goals can give you something to work towards, but they do not have to be enormous.

When confidence is low, setting yourself a goal that feels too difficult can sometimes reinforce the feeling that you cannot do it.

A smaller, achievable goal can do the opposite.

It can help you experience progress.

Why can small goals help confidence?

Imagine you want to become more active after doing very little for several months.

You could decide:

“From now on, I’m going to exercise every day.”

That may feel positive when you make the decision, but it could be difficult to maintain.

An alternative might be:

“This week, I’m going to take a short walk twice.”

The second goal may sound less impressive, but it gives you something realistic to complete.

Completing it provides evidence:

“I said I was going to do something, and I did it.”

That can be valuable when you are rebuilding confidence.

Make the goal clear

Broad goals can be difficult to act on.

For example:

“I want to get my life organised.”

What does that actually mean?

You could turn it into:

“Tomorrow, I’m going to spend 15 minutes sorting the letters I’ve been avoiding.”

Or instead of:

“I need to be more confident at work.”

you might decide:

“I’m going to ask one question in Thursday’s meeting.”

A clear goal makes it easier to know what your next step is.

Make it manageable

There is nothing wrong with ambition.

But if a goal feels overwhelming before you have even started, try reducing its size.

Ask:

• What is the smallest useful step?
• Could I do part of this?
• Does everything need to happen now?
• What could I realistically manage this week?
• Is this my goal, or something I think I should be doing?

Starting smaller does not mean you have lowered your expectations forever.

It means you have created somewhere to begin.

Break bigger goals into stages

Some things genuinely take time.

You might want to return to work, start exercising again, deal with your finances, reconnect socially or learn something new.

Instead of treating the final outcome as one enormous task, identify the stages between where you are now and where you want to be.

For example:

Goal: reconnect with people

Your steps might be:

• Message somebody you haven’t spoken to recently.
• Arrange a short phone call.
• Meet for a coffee.
• Arrange another social activity.

You can concentrate on the next step rather than the whole journey.

Don’t make perfection the goal

A goal does not have to be completed perfectly to be useful.

Suppose you planned to walk three times this week but managed twice.

You could think:

“I failed.”

Or you could recognise:

“I walked twice more than I would have done otherwise.”

You can then decide whether to try again, change the goal or make the next step easier.

Progress can still count even when the original plan changes.

Notice what you have completed

It is easy to immediately move from one task to the next without recognising what you have achieved.

Pause occasionally.

Ask:

“What can I do now that I wasn’t doing before?”

Your answer might seem small.

Perhaps you made a phone call you had been avoiding, attended an appointment, went somewhere alone, completed some paperwork or tried something for the first time.

These experiences can gradually change the evidence you have about yourself.

Your goals should belong to you

Goals based entirely on what other people are doing can create pressure rather than confidence.

You do not necessarily need somebody else’s career, lifestyle, relationship, fitness level or achievements.

Ask:

“What would make a meaningful difference to my life?”

A worthwhile goal can be something nobody else ever notices.

Adjusting a goal isn’t giving up

Circumstances change.

You may become unwell, have a difficult week or discover that something takes longer than expected.

Changing the size or timing of a goal can be sensible.

The important question is not:

“Did everything go exactly to plan?”

It is:

“What is a realistic next step from where I am now?”

5.3: Building Confidence One Step at a Time

5.4: Coping With Self-Doubt

5.7: Returning to Something After a Bad Experience

5.9: Learning to Recognise Your Achievements

3.9: Feeling Stuck, How to Start Moving Forward

11.8: Breaking Problems Into Manageable Steps

11.9: Setting Small Achievable Goals

General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.