Returning to Work Following Bereavement
Returning to work after somebody dies can feel like a major step.
Returning to work after somebody dies can feel like a major step.
You may welcome the routine and contact with other people. You may dread being asked how you are. You might experience both at the same time.
There is no single point at which everybody is “ready” to return.
Before you return
If possible, speak to your manager or employer beforehand.
You might discuss:
- when you expect to return
- how you would like colleagues to be told
- whether you want people to mention the bereavement
- any concerns about your first day
- temporary changes that might help
- whether workplace counselling or an employee assistance programme is available
You decide how much personal information you want to share.
What leave am I entitled to?
Bereavement leave and pay can depend on the circumstances, your employment status, your contract and your employer’s policies.
There are specific statutory rights in some situations, including parental bereavement and time off connected with the death of a dependant.
Check your contract, staff handbook or bereavement policy and ask your employer or HR if you are unsure.
For individual employment-rights questions, use current Acas guidance or obtain appropriate employment advice.
Why am I finding concentration difficult?
Grief can affect sleep, memory and concentration.
Tasks that were previously routine may take longer.
If appropriate, you could discuss temporary adjustments such as:
- a phased return
- reduced or altered hours
- temporary changes to duties
- additional breaks
- working from home where suitable
- reducing particularly demanding work for a short period
What is possible will depend on your job and circumstances, but having the conversation can help.
What do I say to colleagues?
You do not need to repeatedly explain what happened.
Simple responses are enough:
“Thank you. I’d rather focus on work today.”
“I’m okay talking about it, but I might find it difficult.”
“I appreciate you asking, but I don’t want to talk about it just now.”
You can change your mind from one day to another.
What if returning to work helps?
That is okay too.
Work can provide routine, purpose, social contact and periods when your attention is somewhere else.
Finding parts of the day normal or enjoyable does not mean you have stopped grieving.
What if I return and realise it is too soon?
A return does not have to mean that everything is back to normal.
Speak to your manager if you are struggling.
You may need to discuss temporary support, further absence or other options.
If grief is affecting your health to the point that you are not well enough to work, speak to your GP and check your workplace sickness arrangements.
What about anniversaries and difficult dates?
Grief can become stronger again around birthdays, anniversaries, inquests, family events or other reminders.
You may want to plan ahead rather than being caught by surprise.
If a particular date is likely to be difficult at work, consider discussing it with your manager beforehand.
When might more support help?
If returning to work is causing significant anxiety or grief is making everyday functioning difficult, consider talking to your GP, a counsellor or a bereavement-support service.
Workplace support and emotional support can sit alongside each other.
9.5: Grief and Sleep
9.8: Anniversaries and Grief
6.9: Returning to Work After Time Away
19.9: I’m Worried About Speaking to My Employer
21.11: Setting Boundaries When Supporting Somebody
Important information
This guide provides general information and is not intended to provide employment, legal, medical or other professional advice. Employment rights, workplace policies and individual circumstances can be different. Check current information from Acas, your employer or an appropriately qualified professional where needed.