Understanding Loneliness
Loneliness is the feeling that the connection you need is missing.
Loneliness is the feeling that the connection you need is missing.
It is not simply the same as being alone. You can spend a lot of time by yourself and feel content, or be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
What can loneliness feel like?
You might feel disconnected, left out, unseen or as though nobody really knows you.
Some people notice they stop making plans, lose confidence socially or begin assuming that other people are not interested in them. Loneliness can also affect sleep, mood and motivation.
Why might I feel lonely?
There is no single cause. Loneliness can follow bereavement, separation, retirement, moving home, illness, disability, becoming a carer or losing contact with work colleagues.
Sometimes your social circle has not changed but the quality of connection has. You may have people around you without having anybody you feel able to talk to honestly.
Loneliness can create a cycle
When you feel lonely, social situations can start to feel harder. You may turn down invitations because you expect to feel awkward or believe other people do not really want you there.
That avoidance can then reduce opportunities for connection and reinforce the original feeling.
Start smaller than ‘make new friends’
Trying to transform your social life overnight can feel unrealistic.
A first step could be messaging somebody you have lost touch with, having a short conversation with a neighbour, returning to a familiar group or regularly spending time somewhere other people are present.
Use interests as a route to people
Groups built around an activity can make connection easier because there is already something to talk about.
Walking, sport, volunteering, crafts, community groups, learning or other interests can provide repeated contact without requiring instant friendship.
What if loneliness is affecting my mental health?
If loneliness is contributing to persistent low mood, anxiety or difficulty coping, consider talking to your GP or a counsellor.
Your GP may also be able to tell you about social prescribing or local community support.
8.6: Reconnecting After Becoming Isolated
15.3: Loneliness in Later Life
16.9: Loneliness After Separation
3.6: Small Things to Try When You’re Feeling Low
General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.