Caring for Somebody While Looking After Yourself
Caring for somebody can become such a large part of life that your own needs gradually move to the bottom of the list.
Caring for somebody can become such a large part of life that your own needs gradually move to the bottom of the list.
Looking after yourself does not mean caring less. It can help make caring more sustainable.
Notice what caring is costing you
Ask what has changed since you became a carer.
Are you sleeping less, missing appointments, giving up hobbies, seeing friends less often or struggling to work? Have you stopped doing things because leaving the person feels too difficult?
Small breaks still count
Looking after yourself does not have to mean taking a holiday.
A walk, uninterrupted meal, hour with a friend, exercise class or time doing something that belongs to you can help protect some space outside the caring role.
Ask for practical help
Other people may say they are willing to help without knowing what to do.
Give specific tasks: collecting medication, sitting with the person for two hours, doing shopping or taking them to an appointment.
Find out what formal support is available
In England, an adult carer can ask the local council for a carer’s assessment. It looks at how caring affects your physical and mental health, work, free time and relationships.
Depending on assessed needs and local arrangements, support can include help accessing breaks, practical services or information about benefits and local carer support.
Plan for breaks before you are exhausted
Respite or replacement care can take different forms, from somebody sitting with the person for a few hours to day services or a short stay elsewhere.
If council funding is needed, assessments are normally part of the process. Planning ahead can give you more options than waiting until you are unable to continue.
Have an emergency plan
Think about what would happen if you became ill or could not provide care unexpectedly.
Keep essential information accessible: who could step in, medication information, important contacts, routines and what the person needs.
Pay attention to your mental wellbeing
Persistent exhaustion, anxiety, low mood, irritability or feeling trapped are signs that the current arrangement may be taking a significant toll.
Talk to your GP, a counsellor or a carer-support organisation, and look at practical support as well as emotional support. Sometimes reducing the pressure requires both.
13.5: Looking After Yourself When You’re a Carer
13.13: What Is a Carer’s Assessment and How Do I Ask for One?
13.14: What Are Respite Care, Direct Payments and Personal Budgets?
7.15: What Benefits and Financial Help Are Available for Carers?
General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.