I’m Worried Someone I Care About Has an Eating Disorder, What Can I Do

Watching somebody’s relationship with food or their body change can leave you unsure whether to say anything.

You may notice they avoid meals, become secretive, withdraw socially, develop rigid routines around food or exercise, repeatedly criticise their body, or seem physically unwell. None of these observations allows you to diagnose an eating disorder yourself.

But you do not need a diagnosis before expressing concern and encouraging professional help.

Talk about what you have noticed, not what you think they are

“You have an eating disorder” can turn the conversation into an argument about a label.

Try describing the change instead: “I’ve noticed meals seem really stressful for you lately and I’m worried about how you’re feeling.”

Keep the focus on wellbeing rather than appearance. Comments such as “but you look healthy” or “you don’t need to lose weight” can miss what the person is experiencing and may unintentionally reinforce attention on body size.

Expect the conversation to be difficult

The person may minimise the problem, become defensive or tell you to leave them alone.

That does not necessarily mean your concern was misplaced.

The NHS advises listening, avoiding criticism and encouraging professional help. You do not need to win an argument in the first conversation. Let them know you care and that you are willing to help them access appropriate support.

Offer practical help without becoming the treatment team

You might offer to help them make a GP appointment, travel with them or sit with them while they write down what they want to say.

If they are already receiving treatment, follow guidance from their eating-disorder professionals about how family or carers can support the plan.

Do not create your own meal plan, monitoring regime or treatment rules from information online. Eating disorders can affect physical health and need appropriately qualified professional assessment.

Do not make every conversation about food

The person is still your partner, child, friend, sibling or colleague.

The NHS recommends continuing to include somebody socially and helping them feel valued as a person. Ordinary conversation and activities can matter when an eating disorder has begun to dominate daily life.

Support does not require you to pretend nothing is happening. It means the relationship is not reduced to policing food or appearance.

If you are a parent or carer

Family involvement can be an important part of treatment, particularly for children and young people.

NICE says family therapy for young people with anorexia should emphasise the family’s role in recovery without blaming the young person or family. It also recognises that family members may themselves need support.

Ask the treatment team what role they need you to take rather than guessing.

Take physical deterioration seriously

Eating disorders can have significant physical consequences.

If you are concerned about fainting, marked physical deterioration or other worrying physical symptoms, seek medical advice rather than trying to decide from appearance whether the person is medically safe.

A GP or eating-disorder service can advise on assessment, and urgent medical services should be used where the person’s physical condition appears to require immediate care.

You are allowed to need support too

Supporting somebody with an eating disorder can involve fear, frustration, guilt and exhaustion.

You cannot recover on another person’s behalf, and being supportive does not mean carrying the situation alone.

Ask your GP, the person’s treatment team where appropriate, or a specialist eating-disorder support organisation about support for families and carers.

Last reviewed

6 September 2026

Important informationThis guide provides general information only and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional medical, eating-disorder or other healthcare advice. Eating disorders can affect physical as well as mental health, and recovery and treatment needs differ between people. If you are worried about an eating disorder, physical symptoms or a change in someone’s health, speak to a GP, eating-disorder service or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional.