What Might Be Unhelpful to Say?
Anxiety can make somebody repeatedly ask for reassurance, avoid places, cancel plans or become frightened by physical sensations that look harmless to you.
Anxiety can make somebody repeatedly ask for reassurance, avoid places, cancel plans or become frightened by physical sensations that look harmless to you.
It can be tempting to say “there’s nothing to worry about” or take over everything that makes them anxious.
Support is usually more useful when it acknowledges how real the fear feels without allowing anxiety to make every decision.
Do not argue with the feeling
If somebody is panicking, telling them their fear is ridiculous is unlikely to make their body feel safer.
Stay calm and listen.
You can acknowledge the experience without agreeing with every anxious conclusion: “I can see you’re really frightened,” is different from confirming that the thing they fear is definitely going to happen.
Ask what normally helps
People experience anxiety differently.
One person may want quiet company. Another may find slow breathing or grounding helpful. Somebody else may want to walk, sit somewhere less busy or simply know you are nearby.
When they are feeling relatively settled, ask what support they would like if anxiety becomes intense again.
Be careful with endless reassurance
Anxiety often asks the same question repeatedly: “Are you sure?”, “What if?”, “Do you think this means something is wrong?”
Reassurance may calm the person briefly, but the doubt can quickly return.
Rather than repeatedly trying to prove that nothing bad will happen, help them notice the worry and return to what is known or to the coping strategies they are working on.
Help without taking over every difficult situation
Avoidance can make life gradually smaller.
You may want to protect the person by cancelling everything that causes anxiety or doing every difficult task for them.
Ask what kind of support helps them face things at a manageable pace. This could mean travelling with them, waiting nearby or helping break something into smaller steps rather than automatically removing it.
During a panic attack
Panic attacks can be frightening to witness.
Stay with the person if they want you there, speak calmly and reduce unnecessary stimulation where possible. Remind them that you are with them and give them time.
Do not force breathing exercises, touch or movement if these make them more uncomfortable. Ask what they need.
Do not become the only coping strategy
If the person feels they can only leave home, travel, sleep or make decisions when you are available, both of you can become trapped.
Encourage a wider range of support and coping strategies, including professional help where anxiety is persistent or significantly affecting everyday life.
Remember that supporting anxiety can be tiring
Mind’s current guidance specifically encourages supporters to set limits, share the caring role where possible and protect their own mental health.
You can care deeply while still being unavailable sometimes.
A sustainable relationship is usually more helpful than one person becoming permanently responsible for keeping another person calm.
Last reviewed
6 September 2026
Important informationThis guide provides general information only and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice. Mental-health difficulties affect people differently. If you are concerned about someone’s mental health or they need professional support, encourage them to speak to a GP or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional.