I Need Help but Don’t Know What Kind
Counselling is not simply paying somebody to listen while you talk.
Counselling is not simply paying somebody to listen while you talk.
It is a type of talking therapy in which a trained counsellor gives you space to explore thoughts, feelings, experiences and problems without the conversation needing to work like an ordinary friendship.
The NHS describes counselling as a talking therapy where a counsellor listens and helps you find your own solutions rather than telling you what to do.
What do people talk about in counselling
There is no required subject.
People may talk about anxiety, low mood, stress, grief, illness, relationships, work, confidence, past experiences or a difficult decision.
You can also begin with “I don’t really know why I’m here, I just know I’m struggling.”
The first useful work may simply be making sense of what feels tangled.
What is different from talking to a friend
Friends can be invaluable, but friendships are two-way relationships. You may censor yourself because you do not want to worry them, repeat yourself or feel judged.
Counselling creates a defined space focused on you.
A counsellor should not need you to protect their feelings or give them equal time to discuss their own life.
Will the counsellor tell me what to do
Counselling is generally not about somebody prescribing a solution to your life.
The NHS describes the counsellor’s role as helping you find your own solutions.
That may involve noticing patterns, exploring choices, understanding feelings differently and deciding what you want to change.
What if I find talking difficult
You do not need to tell your entire story in the first session.
You can say that you find talking difficult, do not know where to begin or need time before discussing particular experiences.
A useful therapeutic relationship should allow trust to develop rather than requiring immediate disclosure of everything personal.
Counselling is not the only talking therapy
Different psychological therapies work in different ways.
For example, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) often focuses more explicitly on links between thoughts, feelings and behaviour and can include exercises between sessions. Other therapies may focus on relationships, past experiences or particular problems.
The most appropriate approach depends on what you need help with and what is available.
Where can counselling be accessed
Counselling may be available through NHS services for some problems, employers, universities, charities or privately.
If paying privately, NHS guidance recommends checking that the therapist is registered with a professional organisation accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
MH360 also provides counselling and talking-therapy support; the website’s support route can explain current availability separately from this guide.
How do I know whether it is worth trying
You do not need certainty that counselling will “work” before having an initial conversation.
Think about whether you want somewhere confidential to understand what you are feeling, explore patterns, process an experience or make changes with support.
If counselling does not feel like the right approach, that does not mean talking support as a whole has failed. Other forms of therapy or support may fit differently.
Last reviewed
6 September 2026
Important informationThis guide provides general information only and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice. Mental-health support and treatment will depend on individual circumstances. If you are unsure what support is appropriate, speak to your GP or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional.