I’m Embarrassed to Ask for Help
“How are you feeling?” can be an unexpectedly difficult question.
“How are you feeling?” can be an unexpectedly difficult question.
You may know that you are struggling but find your mind goes blank when somebody asks what is wrong. You might worry about crying, sounding dramatic, not making sense or saying something you cannot take back.
You do not need to become good at talking about feelings before you can ask for help. You can make the conversation easier by starting with what you can describe.
Start with what has changed
If naming an emotion feels difficult, describe the difference between now and usual.
“I don’t want to see anyone.”
“I wake up at 4am and my mind starts racing.”
“I keep losing my temper.”
“I can’t concentrate on anything.”
“I don’t enjoy things the way I used to.”
These are meaningful pieces of information.
Use impact when feelings are hard to name
You can explain what the problem is doing to your life.
Perhaps work is taking twice as long. You keep cancelling plans. You cannot relax with your family. You are exhausted because you are not sleeping. You have stopped doing things you normally enjoy.
A GP or counsellor can work with ordinary descriptions. You do not need clinical language.
Write it instead
If speaking feels too exposed, prepare a note.
You could write:
“What I have noticed…”
“When it started…”
“What is hardest…”
“What I am worried about…”
“What I want help with…”
Mind’s guidance on GP appointments specifically recommends taking notes if this helps you explain what is happening.
Say that talking is difficult
The difficulty itself is useful information.
Try: “I find it hard to talk about this, so I may need you to ask me questions.”
Or: “I know something isn’t right, but I can’t put it into words very well.”
That tells the other person how to help with the conversation.
You do not have to explain everything at once
There may be experiences you are not ready to discuss.
Begin with enough information for the person to understand that you are struggling and what kind of support you are seeking.
Trust and clarity can develop over several conversations. The first one does not need to contain your entire history.
If you become emotional
Crying, pausing or losing your train of thought does not invalidate what you are saying.
Take your time. Look at your notes. Ask for a moment.
If you are speaking to a healthcare professional and there is more to discuss than the appointment allows, ask what the best way is to continue the conversation.
Choose the right listener for the job
You might want emotional support from a friend, clinical advice from a GP, a confidential space with a counsellor or practical information from a specialist service.
One person does not have to meet every need.
Sometimes explaining how you feel becomes easier once you know what you are asking the listener to do.
Last reviewed
6 September 2026
Important informationThis guide provides general information only and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice. Mental-health support and treatment depend on individual circumstances. If you are unsure what support is appropriate, speak to your GP or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional.