Looking After Yourself When You’re a Carer
“Look after yourself” can sound almost insulting when somebody else depends on you.
“Look after yourself” can sound almost insulting when somebody else depends on you.
A long bath, a walk or an early night may be impossible if the person cannot be left alone. Self-care advice that ignores the mechanics of caring can leave carers feeling they have failed at one more thing.
Looking after yourself begins with making your own needs visible and creating enough support around the caring role for you to meet them.
Start with health needs you have postponed
Carers often rearrange their own appointments because the person they support has another clinic, bad day or crisis.
Review what you have delayed: GP appointments, prescriptions, dental care, screening, physiotherapy, sleep problems or your own mental health.
Registering as a carer with your GP can help the practice understand your circumstances.
A break only works if you can actually stop caring
Time away is not restorative if you spend it checking your phone every five minutes or racing through errands.
A meaningful break may require somebody else to take responsibility for a period of time. That could involve family, friends, paid care, a sitting service, day support or respite depending on circumstances.
A carer’s assessment can help identify possible support. Feeling guilty about taking a break is common, but exhaustion does not make care safer or kinder.
Protect one part of life that belongs to you
Caring can consume identity.
Try to retain something that is yours: work, a friend, exercise, a club, gardening, faith, reading or an hour in a café. It does not need to be impressive.
The purpose is to preserve evidence to yourself that you still exist beyond medication charts and appointments.
Sleep needs practical solutions, not just sleep hygiene
If the person you care for wakes repeatedly, wanders, needs turning or calls for help, your sleep problem may be a care problem.
Standard bedtime advice cannot fix an arrangement that requires you to remain alert all night.
Record what is happening and raise nighttime needs during health or social-care assessments. Your need for sleep is relevant to whether the caring arrangement is sustainable.
Let somebody know the unedited version
Carers often tell professionals “we’re managing” because they are managing, just.
Try telling at least one trusted person what managing actually costs.
Carers Mind counselling can provide confidential space where you do not have to protect family members from your frustration or pretend that caring is always rewarding.
Important informationThis guide provides general information and is not intended to provide legal, financial, medical or other professional advice. Individual circumstances can be different. You may wish to check current information from official sources and seek advice from an appropriately qualified professional before making important decisions.