Becoming a Carer
Caring responsibilities do not always begin with somebody describing you as a carer.
Caring responsibilities do not always begin with somebody describing you as a carer.
You may simply start doing more for a partner, parent, relative or friend because they are ill, disabled or need support.
Over time, appointments, medication, practical tasks and worry can become a significant part of your life.
When does helping become caring?
You do not need to be paid or provide personal care to be a carer.
You may be helping with:
- shopping and meals
- appointments and transport
- medication
- paperwork and finances
- personal care
- emotional support
- keeping somebody safe
- organising other services.
Recognising that you have become a carer can make it easier to look for support.
Why can becoming a carer feel overwhelming?
You may be learning about somebody’s condition while also taking on new responsibilities.
You might worry about doing something wrong, what will happen in the future or how you will balance caring with work and your own life.
You can love somebody and still find caring difficult.
Do not try to learn everything at once
Start with the immediate questions.
What does the person need today? Who is involved in their care? What information do you need? What can other people help with?
Keep important contact details and information together.
Find out what practical support exists
Depending on the circumstances, support may include a care needs assessment for the person you care for and a carer’s assessment for you.
There may also be benefits, respite, local services and other forms of practical help.
MH360’s Section 13 covers these issues in detail.
Keep part of your own life
Caring can gradually fill every available space.
Where possible, protect some time for sleep, work, relationships, interests and ordinary life.
This is not selfish. It can help make caring more sustainable.
Ask for help specifically
Other people may not realise what needs doing.
Instead of saying “I need more help”, try identifying a task:
“Could you take them to the appointment on Thursday?” or “Could you stay for two hours on Saturday?”
When might more support help?
If caring is affecting your sleep, mood, anxiety or ability to cope, consider talking to your GP or a counsellor as well as exploring practical carer support.
13.2: When Does Helping Someone Become Caring?
13.13: What Is a Carer’s Assessment and How Do I Ask for One?
7.15: What Benefits and Financial Help Are Available for Carers?
8.10: Caring for Somebody While Looking After Yourself
General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.