I’m Scared to Look at My Finances, Where Do I Start?
When you are worried about money, looking at your finances can feel frightening.
When you are worried about money, looking at your finances can feel frightening.
You might avoid checking your bank account, leave bills unopened or put off finding out exactly how much you owe.
You may already suspect that things are difficult and worry that looking properly will somehow make the situation more real.
Avoiding it can feel easier today.
But not knowing can create even more anxiety tomorrow.
You do not need to sort everything out at once.
The first step is simply to understand where things stand.
Why am I avoiding my finances?
Avoidance is a common response to something that makes us anxious.
You might be thinking:
“I don’t want to know how bad it is.”
“I won’t be able to sort it out anyway.”
“There are too many things to deal with.”
“I’ll look tomorrow.”
Putting it off may reduce your anxiety temporarily.
But the unanswered questions remain.
You may then start imagining what could be happening, which can make opening the banking app or looking at the next letter feel even harder.
Start smaller than you think
Do not begin by telling yourself:
“Today I need to sort out my finances.”
That is a huge task.
Choose something specific instead.
For example:
“I’m going to check my bank balance.”
or:
“I’m going to open three letters.”
or:
“I’m going to find out how much my energy account is behind.”
Completing one small task gives you information.
You can decide what to do with that information afterwards.
Get everything into one place
When bills, emails, letters and payments are scattered around, the situation can feel more complicated than it is.
Try gathering together the information you already have.
You might need:
- recent bank statements
- household bills
- rent or mortgage information
- council tax information
- credit card or loan statements
- details of your income
- letters about missed payments or debts
- information about any benefits you receive
You do not need to understand every document immediately.
For now, you are simply collecting the information.
Work out what is coming in and going out
Next, create a simple picture of your finances.
Write down:
Money coming in
This might include wages, pension income, benefits or other regular household income.
Then write down:
Money going out
Start with essential household costs and regular commitments.
Do not worry about making the figures perfect.
You are trying to answer a basic question:
“Is there enough coming in to cover what needs to go out?”
If the answer is no, that tells you something important.
It means the problem may require practical financial support rather than simply trying harder to budget.
Make a list of anything you are behind with
If you have missed payments, write them down.
For each one, record:
- who the money is owed to
- roughly how much is outstanding
- whether you have received any recent letters or messages
- whether there is a deadline or action mentioned
- whether you have already spoken to the organisation
Do not try to decide which debt is most important based purely on the amount owed or how frequently somebody is contacting you.
Different debts can have different consequences.
Free debt advice can help you understand what needs attention first.
Open the letters
If you have a pile of unopened correspondence, you do not have to deal with every letter immediately.
Start by opening it.
Put the letters into simple groups such as:
Needs attention
Information
Not sure
If something contains a deadline, court paperwork, notice about your home, essential services or another issue that appears urgent, do not simply put it back in the pile.
If you do not understand it, seek appropriate advice.
Check whether your income could be increased
Financial difficulty is not always only about reducing spending.
You may also be missing financial support.
Depending on your circumstances, it may be worth checking whether you could qualify for benefits or other help, particularly if your income has changed or you are affected by illness, disability, caring responsibilities, unemployment or increased housing costs.
An entitlement check can help identify support you may not have realised was available.
Don’t make rushed decisions because you feel frightened
When money problems feel urgent, you may be tempted to accept the first solution you find.
Be careful about borrowing more money or agreeing to a debt solution before understanding what it involves.
Different options can have different consequences.
If debts have become difficult to manage, free independent debt advice can help you understand your position and the options that may be available.
Ask someone to sit with you
If looking at your finances alone feels overwhelming, consider asking somebody you trust to be with you.
They do not need to solve the problem.
They might simply help you:
- open the letters
- organise the paperwork
- write down the figures
- make a list of questions
- prepare for a phone call
Sometimes having another person there makes starting easier.
Your first goal is clarity, not perfection
You may discover that the situation is better than you feared.
You may discover that it needs attention.
Either way, you now have something you can work with.
You do not need to fix your entire financial situation today.
A useful first goal is simply:
Know what is coming in.
Know what is going out.
Know what you owe.
Know what needs attention first.
Then you can start looking at the appropriate next steps.
7.1: Money Worries and Mental Wellbeing
7.2: Why Do Money Problems Make Me Feel Anxious?
7.4: I Can’t Afford My Bills, What Can I Do?
7.5: My Income Has Suddenly Fallen, What Should I Look At First?
7.8: Where Can I Get Free Help With Money Problems?
7.9: What Benefits Might I Be Entitled To?
7.39: I’m Struggling With Debt, Where Do I Start?
7.40: What Are Priority and Non-Priority Debts?
22.5: I’ve Stopped Opening Letters and Emails
Important information
This guide provides general information and is not intended to provide financial, debt, legal or other professional advice. Individual circumstances can be different. You may wish to check current information from official sources and seek advice from an appropriately qualified professional before making important decisions.