Feeling Stuck, How to Start Moving Forward

Sometimes life can feel as though it has stopped moving.

You might be unhappy with where you are but have no idea what needs to change.

Perhaps you keep thinking about making a fresh start, finding a new job, getting out more, sorting your finances or changing something in your life.

But nothing seems to happen.

You may find yourself thinking:

“I know I can’t stay like this, but I don’t know how to move forward.”

When you feel stuck, you do not necessarily need to know where you are eventually going.

You may just need somewhere to start.

What does feeling stuck mean?

Feeling stuck can mean different things.

You might feel:

unsure what you want
unable to make a decision
worried about making the wrong choice
trapped by your circumstances
lacking confidence
low in motivation
overwhelmed by how much needs to change
frightened of trying something different
as though every day is the same

Sometimes you know exactly what you would like to change but cannot see how to make it happen.

At other times, you simply know that something doesn’t feel right.

Why can it be so difficult to move forward?

When you think about changing your life, your mind may jump straight to the finished result.

“I need a different career.”

“I need to sort my finances out.”

“I need to get my confidence back.”

“I need to start having a life again.”

Those are big destinations.

If you cannot immediately see how to reach them, doing nothing can start to feel easier.

Try replacing:

“How do I fix my life?”

with:

“What is one thing I would like to be slightly different?”

That is a much smaller question.

Work out where you feel stuck

You do not have to analyse your entire life.

Ask yourself:

Where do I feel most stuck at the moment?

It might be:

work
money
relationships
confidence
social life
health
daily routine
where you live
caring responsibilities
something that happened in the past
uncertainty about the future

You may identify several things.

If you do, choose the one that is taking up the most space in your mind.

You can come back to the others later.

Separate the destination from the next step

Suppose you are unhappy at work.

The destination might be:

“Find a new job.”

But that does not need to be today’s task.

Today’s step might be:

Update one section of my CV.

Tomorrow’s might be:

Look at three vacancies.

Or perhaps you feel isolated.

The destination might be:

“I need more people in my life.”

The next step could simply be:

Message somebody I haven’t spoken to recently.

Moving forward does not have to mean making a dramatic change.

It can mean taking one action that points in a different direction.

What if I don’t know what I want?

You do not always need a clear goal.

Sometimes it is easier to identify what you want more of or less of.

For example:

I want less time worrying about money.

I want more contact with other people.

I want less pressure at work.

I want more time outside.

I want less time sitting at home thinking.

This can give you a direction without requiring you to have everything worked out.

Be careful of waiting for the perfect time

You might tell yourself:

“I’ll start when I feel more confident.”

“I’ll do it when things calm down.”

“I’ll wait until I feel more motivated.”

Sometimes waiting is sensible.

But sometimes the conditions you are waiting for only begin to change after you take a small step.

You do not have to feel completely confident before trying something.

You only need enough confidence for the next action.

Try a small experiment

If you are unsure what will help, you do not have to make a permanent decision.

Try something.

For example:

Go to one activity.

Look at one course.

Have one conversation.

Try one new routine for a week.

Spend an afternoon somewhere different.

Then ask:

“Did that move me in a direction I want to continue?”

If it did, take another step.

If it didn’t, you have still learned something.

Notice progress that is easy to miss

When you feel stuck, you may only count major outcomes.

But progress might also look like:

making a decision
asking for information
making a telephone call
going somewhere new
completing something you had avoided
asking somebody for help
trying something and deciding it is not for you
understanding your situation a little better

You do not need to have reached the destination for movement to have started.

When might I need more support?

Sometimes feeling stuck is connected to persistent low mood, anxiety, difficult circumstances or a loss of confidence.

If you have felt this way for a long time, are finding everyday life increasingly difficult, or low mood is continuing or getting worse, consider speaking to your GP or another healthcare professional.

Counselling or talking therapies may also help some people explore what is keeping them stuck, understand what they want to change and identify manageable ways of moving forward.

3.5 – Why Don’t I Feel Motivated?
3.6 – Small Things to Try When You’re Feeling Low
3.7 – Getting Back Into a Routine
3.10 – Supporting Someone Experiencing Low Mood
11.9 – Setting Small Achievable Goals
22.10 – How Do I Break a Big Problem Into Smaller Steps?

General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.