What Can I Do When Everything Feels Too Much?

When everything feels too much, even simple things can become difficult.

You might have several problems happening at once, feel unable to decide what to deal with first, or find yourself avoiding things because you do not know where to start.

At times like this, trying to solve everything at once can make the feeling of being overwhelmed even stronger.

Instead, the aim is to make right now a little more manageable.

Stop trying to deal with everything at once

When your mind is jumping between work, money, family, appointments, messages and everything else you need to do, it can feel as though every problem needs your attention immediately.

Usually, it doesn’t.

Try asking yourself:

“What actually needs my attention today?”

Not this week. Not next month. Just today.

Giving yourself permission to leave some things until later can reduce the amount you are trying to hold in your head at once.

Get things out of your head

When you are overwhelmed, trying to remember everything can add to the pressure.

Write down what is worrying you or what you think needs doing.

It does not need to be organised.

You might write:

• pay electricity bill
• reply to work email
• call GP
• sort out insurance
• speak to landlord
• buy food
• check bank account
• call Mum

Seeing things written down can make them feel more separate.

Instead of dealing with “everything”, you now have individual things that can be considered one at a time.

Decide what really needs doing first

Look at your list and ask:

• Does anything genuinely need dealing with today?
• What could wait until tomorrow?
• What could wait until next week?
• Is anything outside my control?
• Could somebody help me with any of this?

You do not need to complete the whole list.

Choose one manageable thing.

That might simply be opening a letter, sending an email, making one telephone call or finding a piece of information you need.

Make the first step smaller

Sometimes even one task still feels too big.

If it does, make the first step smaller.

Instead of:

“Sort out my debts”

the first step might be:

“Find my latest bank statement.”

Instead of:

“Deal with the housing problem”

try:

“Take photographs of the damp.”

Instead of:

“Sort out my benefits”

try:

“Find out where I can check what support I might be entitled to.”

You are not avoiding the bigger problem. You are simply identifying somewhere realistic to begin.

Give yourself a short break

Being overwhelmed does not always mean you need to work harder.

Sometimes you need a little space before deciding what to do next.

You could:

• step outside for a few minutes
• make a drink
• sit somewhere quieter
• take a short walk
• put your phone down
• focus on your breathing
• talk to somebody you trust

A short break will not make your responsibilities disappear, but it may help you return to them with a little more space to think.

Ask for practical help

You do not have to manage every problem alone.

Think about whether somebody could help with something specific.

Instead of saying:

“I can’t cope.”

you might find it easier to ask:

“Could you sit with me while I make this call?”

“Can you help me go through these letters?”

“Could you collect the children while I deal with this appointment?”

“Can I talk this through with you?”

A specific request can make it easier for somebody to understand how they can help.

Focus on the next step, not the whole journey

When you are overwhelmed, thinking too far ahead can make a difficult situation feel even bigger.

You do not necessarily need to know how everything will be resolved.

Sometimes the most useful question is simply:

“What is the next thing I can do?”

Then, when that is done, you can decide what comes next.

When might I need more support?

If everything continues to feel too much, you are struggling to manage everyday responsibilities, or the pressure is significantly affecting your sleep, relationships, work or wellbeing, consider talking to somebody about how you are feeling.

You could speak to your GP or another healthcare professional.

Counselling or talking therapies may also help some people make sense of what is happening, explore the pressures they are facing and find ways of managing them.

2.3 – Why Do I Feel Overwhelmed?
2.7 – Practical Ways to Reduce Everyday Stress
2.10 – Creating a Simple Stress Action Plan
11.8 – Breaking Problems Into Manageable Steps
22.11 – What Should I Deal With First?

General information only. This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional healthcare advice.