What Questions Should I Prepare Before Getting Family-Law Advice?
A first conversation with a family-law solicitor can feel expensive, emotional and difficult to organise in your head.
A first conversation with a family-law solicitor can feel expensive, emotional and difficult to organise in your head.
You may arrive with twenty years of relationship history and only an hour to explain what is happening.
Good preparation is not about learning family law before the appointment. It is about helping the adviser understand your situation quickly enough to tell you which issues actually matter.
Start with the problem you need help with
Try to describe the current position in a few sentences.
For example: “We separated three months ago. We are married, have two children aged 8 and 12, jointly own the house and have not agreed where the children will live or what happens to the property.”
That is more useful at the beginning than telling the entire history of why the relationship failed.
The background can be explored where it is legally relevant.
Take the basic facts with you
Useful information may include the date you began living together, marriage or civil-partnership date if relevant, separation date, children’s ages, current living arrangements and whether any court proceedings, mediation or formal agreements already exist.
If there are urgent deadlines, hearings, solicitor’s letters or safety concerns, identify them immediately.
For financial questions, build a rough map
You do not need a professionally prepared balance sheet for an initial appointment.
But it can help to know broadly what exists: the home and mortgage, other property, savings, investments, pensions, businesses, debts and each person’s approximate income.
GOV.UK confirms that financial arrangements on divorce or dissolution can involve property, pensions, savings, investments and maintenance. The legal position is different for unmarried couples.
For children, describe the present arrangement before the dispute
Explain where the children currently stay, school and childcare arrangements, how time with each parent is working and what specifically cannot be agreed.
If there are safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse, substance misuse or another issue affecting a child’s welfare, say so clearly rather than burying it in the chronology.
Questions worth asking about your options
You might ask:
What are the main legal issues in my situation?
What information do you need before you can advise me properly?
Which issues could potentially be agreed directly or through mediation?
What would make court involvement necessary?
Is anything urgent?
What should I avoid doing while matters are unresolved?
Do I need advice from another professional, such as a financial adviser, pension expert or tax specialist?
These questions seek understanding rather than asking the solicitor to predict an outcome before the evidence is known.
Ask what an agreement would actually achieve
If you and your former partner appear to agree about finances, ask whether anything needs to be made legally binding.
For divorcing spouses and civil partners in England and Wales, GOV.UK explains that an agreed division of money and property generally needs a court-approved consent order to become legally binding.
Similarly, ask whether an informal arrangement about another issue is enough for your circumstances or whether a formal step may be appropriate.
Understand mediation without assuming it is compulsory in every case
Family mediation can help separating people discuss children, finances and property without the mediator taking sides.
For some court applications, attendance at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is usually required first, but exemptions exist, including in some domestic-abuse circumstances.
Ask whether mediation or another form of dispute resolution is appropriate for your situation rather than assuming it is either mandatory or unsuitable.
Ask about cost and scope before instructing
Useful questions include:
What is included in the initial fee?
What is your hourly rate or fixed-fee structure?
Who will actually handle my case?
What work could I reasonably do myself?
What could cause costs to increase?
How often will I receive bills or cost updates?
If matters become contested, what are the likely stages?
Understanding how the professional relationship will work can reduce uncertainty later.
Bring a short question list
Emotion can make even obvious questions disappear during an appointment.
Write down the five things you most need answered and leave space to record the response.
The purpose of the first meeting is not necessarily to solve the whole separation. It is to leave with a clearer map of the issues, the information still needed and the sensible next steps.
Last reviewed
6 September 2026
Important legal informationThis guide provides general information only and does not constitute legal advice. It is not intended to recommend any particular legal arrangement, course of action or solution. Separation, divorce, children, finances, property and related matters can have significant legal and financial consequences, and the appropriate approach will depend on individual circumstances. Professionally qualified legal advice should be sought before making, changing or acting upon important legal arrangements or decisions.